Overthinking

I have recently been accused of overthinking by multiple people and it has started getting under my skin.

First, I listen to their reasoning and take a moment to check in with myself. Am I stressing needlessly over things in my life? Do I need to take a break and do some self care?

After taking time to check in with myself, I was able to determine that I was in a good place mentally. Through this process I actually learned a little bit about myself and my interactions with others. In these conversations about how I am overthinking, I also felt unheard. I was explaining a concept that I was trying to process. Those around me are aware that I am an external processor and often discuss things that I have going on in my head. I find that getting feedback helps me to better organize my own thoughts.

I recognize that I should be more self aware when I am processing things and work to better communicate my needs to those around me. I also need to ask if they are in a place to discuss these ideas with me. It can be exhausting for people to try and keep up with my thoughts during these times. It comes out in a wave of word vomit as ideas are piled on top of each other, criss crossing and dancing around in my head trying to find where they belong.

I realized that when I am introduced to a concept that challenges my current views I need to “overthink” them. I research and find as much information on it as I can. I talk about it over and over again with others. I become very aware of how these thoughts interact with my behavior. As I decide on what this new concept means to me, I am working on changing my behavior to match this ethic. I’ll often take this idea and run it through various scenarios in my head seeing how these new concepts would apply.

For many people this is a process that gradually happens over time and they probably don’t do it intentionally. It may also be something they process internally. That’s not me. My methods may be messy and loud, but they are effective in allowing me to piece things together. My current goals are to communicate my need for this type of processing and what I need from others during this time effectively. I also want to make sure I apply consent to this process. It’s another opportunity for growth. In fact, I often find the things that frustrate me are. I find it helpful to use these feelings as a measurement for when I need to take a moment for myself to figure out my own needs.