For those with an oral fixation specifically, but not limited to odaxelagnia, biting can be a way of connecting with partners and is quite pleasurable. Many of us have chosen it as a soft limit though. We only allow it with specific partners because it can be difficult to find partners that do it effectively. Hopefully, this guide will allow a better understanding of the mechanics of biting and how to do it safely.
It is important to discuss with partners BEFORE biting. Even a “love nip” can be very upsetting to those who have an aversion to this type of play. When discussing biting with partners it is important to respect their decision on whether they are comfortable giving or receiving bites. Negotiations or discussions should include where it is ok to bite, how you enjoy being bitten, if you want to bite in return, STI/STD status, and safety precautions. I’ll even show partners by biting my own arm to help them understand what I am requesting.
Even small bites can leave very distinguishable marks and bruises. It is very important to discuss where it is ok to bite in case of marks. For most people, you will want to avoid areas of the body that are not regularly covered by clothing. This may change during times such as summer when partners are more likely to show more skin. It is also important to discuss if you would like to avoid marks completely. Bites can still be quite enjoyable if they don’t leave a mark. Setting this boundary allows partners to have a better understanding of the pressure they should use.
When biting, more skin normally means the bite will be more pleasurable. You want to avoid areas that it feels like you are only able to get a pinch of skin. Allowing more surface area creates a better cushion for the teeth and more control of the pressure used. Less skin increases the likelihood of skin breakage, marks and over stimulation. My recommended places include the shoulder area above the collar bone, the chest area between the armpit and the breastbone, breasts, thighs, back and buttocks. Many people will want to immediately go for a nipple. They just stick out there waiting for a nibble. I’ll go into greater detail on biting nipples in a bit.
You’ve negotiated the bite and now we’ll learn how to nom your partner. Open your mouth wide to a comfortable width, gently place it against the skin creating a seal and suck gently. You should feel the skin start to pull up and into your mouth. Close your mouth slowly while continuing to suck gently. The objective is not to give them a hickey, but to get as much skin into the mouth as possible. Once your teeth can hold the skin on their own stop sucking and keep constant pressure for a few seconds. Release, check the area to understand how it reacts to the pressure you applied and check in with your partner on how it felt. When y’all are both comfortable continue this action and slowly increase the pressure as you progress until you find how much you both enjoy. Do this action on different agreed upon body parts. Different parts will use different pressure. Each time you practice or scene start off gentle and build up. Like impact, the pain of bites should be slowly increased allowing for sub space to be achieved.
Many people hold their breath when they are being bitten. Remind partners to breathe deeply. Deep breathing has been shown to stimulate the vagus nerve. This response can bring people into deeper space more quickly. When you are biting, don’t pull the skin or move your head back and forth. Dragging your teeth across the skin will likely lead to skin breakage. Hold your head still as you apply pressure.
For bites to areas of the head such as ears or lips, special consideration should be used. You should never bite the cartilage part of the ear. Trauma to the cartilage can result in “cauliflower ear” in which overgrowth of the cartilage causes deformities. Bites to the ear should only occur at the bottom fleshy part. Because this area is small it is very sensitive to bites. Remember, less surface area normally means a more intense feeling. Start gentle and build until you find an enjoyable amount of pressure. Lips are similar, although additional consideration should be used for biting lips. I have HSV1 (oral herpes). Biting my lips is a hard limit because trauma to the lips will activate the virus causing an outbreak. The inner lip is made up of a thin mucous membrane that is easily broken. Lips should never be bitten hard or sucked on hard without very clear consent that this is what a partner prefers for their body.
Nipples can be very enjoyable to nibble on. The issue is that there is very little surface area. When biting nipples, use your front incisors. Don’t bite the nipple itself, but the skin right behind it. The nipple should be directly inside your mouth, while the teeth are placed past the dense tissue onto the areola. Use very gentle pressure as this is a very sensitive area for stimulation. If it is too intense, the partner may pull away injuring themselves. I find partners normally enjoy being stimulated with the tongue or sucking while pressure is applied.
Its important to understand that infection is likely if the skin is broken during a bite.
For most people with this fetish, breaking of skin is not preferred. For those wishing to do more intense play, the mouth should be thoroughly cleaned. Teeth should be brushed, and mouthwash used to reduce bacteria as much as possible. The skin where the bite is likely to occur should also be cleansed. Grabbing a shower and washing thoroughly will help reduce bacteria on the skin. If skin breakage occurs apply pressure to stop bleeding. Thoroughly clean the wound with soap and water or an antiseptic. Apply an antibiotic ointment and bandage. Keep an eye on the wound over the next week for signs of infection such as the skin around the wound being hot to the touch, swelling, continued or increased pain and discharge. Seek medical assistance immediately for treatment if infection occurs.
Bites can be a gentle way to connect with a partner or a way to build more intense stimulation to hit sub space. Regardless of how you play, taking time to become better aware of the risks and how to do it effectively will create more positive results during sex or scenes.
Play safe and have fun.
Monologue in AFOG 